Rilke said a great thing about how when you are young, 

you perceive a relationship as a fusion.

 When people come together too young, they try to become one person.

 As you get older, you realize that you don’t want to become one person

because then you lose the person you are. 

Rilke’s whole idea was that a good relationship is two people who stand guard 

at the gates of each other’s solitude or singularity.